Photo Story
German Families
ID # 4184
“The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.” ~Erma Bombeck
Families all over the world are varied and unique, and learning about them can tell us a lot about the culture, politics, values, and social dynamics of a country. During my year in Germany, my host family became my family and when my study abroad year was over and it was time to return to the US, leaving them felt like leaving behind a piece of my heart. In this photo story, we will explore what makes German families unique and what these characteristics have to show us about German culture.
In the US, about 62% of households own a pet; for many of us, our dogs and cats are as good as family members. In Germany however, pets are much less common, largely due to the cost of real estate. Land is very expensive in Germany, so a significant percentage of the population live in apartments and townhouses (called “Reihenhäuser”) and in these compact living spaces there simply isn’t enough room for pets. This photo is of my host grandma’s cat, Nose– he is the first pet she’s owned since she was a little girl.
Women and men have more traditional roles in German family life. Typically, women are housekeepers and caretakers and men provide financial support. This was a big topic in my German host family because Germany is undergoing a mini “social revolution” in which many mothers are questioning their responsibility to be stay-at-home moms. Opinion is split pretty evenly down the middle; some women, like my host mother, believe that children should grow up with one parent at home (the mother), and other women believe that it’s equally important to develop their careers and should be allowed to enroll their children in day cares without running afoul of any social stigmas.
Children in German families are typically more independent at an earlier age than children in American families. For example, my host sister and most of my friends were allowed to travel independently around the ages of 11 and 12. At the same time, children are also expected to take on more (demanding) responsibilities as they get older and are typically more independent and self-sufficient than American children of their same age group.
This picture is of a typical townhouse (“Reihenhaus”) in Germany. These townhouses are normally fairly narrow but tall, with at least three stories. It is not uncommon for multiple generations of a family to live in the same townhouse. My host mom’s mother and father, my host grandparents, live on the story beneath us in our Reihenhaus. They are a very big part of my host family’s life and of our day-to-day routines.
This map shows where some of my fellow study abroad students and I were placed in Germany. When I saw this picture, I immediately thought of the way in which many US families spread out and live distantly from their extended families; the distribution of our placements translates to approximately 3-4 hours of travel time, not unusual for many US families who live a little too far away to visit regularly. German families, on the other hand, tend to live very close to each other, often in the same or neighboring towns. My entire host family lives in our townhouse, across the street, and 10 minutes down the road in the town next to ours.
This photo was taken by my host mom during our vacation to Austria in June. Our trip to Austria was the fourth family vacation we took during my year abroad. Vacations and leisure time is arguably more valued in Germany than in the US and much of the time is often spent with family and close friends. Due partially to the fact that German families often live closer together than US families, family vacations are typically taken more often in Germany than in the US.
During my year abroad, I discovered that family values and roles are fairly traditional in Germany– despite current debates about whether such traditional roles are restrictive and should be modernized, many Germans believe that gender roles are closely tied to familial roles and responsibilities. But family structures are just as diverse as in the US or anywhere else in the world. And of course, German families, like families around the world are, at the core, supportive, loving, caring, and protective units that exist to provide for and nurture all their members.
Photo Credits:
1. Taken by my host mom
2. Taken from the website, Madison Foodie http://www.madisonfoodie.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/thanksgiving-serenity.jpg
3. Taken by a fellow exchange student, Alex Klibisz
4. Taken from a German real estate website, NCC http://www.nccd.de/Global/Bauen_und_Wohnen/Haus_mit_Grundstueck/Region_Berlin/Berlin_Pankow_Schoenholzer_Heide/RH_mit_Satteldach/Reihenhaus_mit_Satteldach_Berlin_Pankow_Schoenholzer_Heide_590.jpg
5. Taken by a fellow exchange student, Kristina Kelly
6. Taken by my host mom
7. Taken by me!